I’m sure most of you have experienced losing a family member, a loved one or someone very close to you. Nothing prepares you for when you get the news even if you tell yourself you are. Nothing prepares you for the emotions you’ll feel, the shock or the overwhelming notion that you’ll never see them or hear their voice again.
All of this was heighten for me earlier this week when my Dad passed away. I was on the other side of the world in the Kalahari desert, in what felt like the most far away place on Earth. During the 12 hours of uncertainty on his condition I couldn’t sit still, I didn’t want to be alone as if I was I’d worry and overthink. I just wanted a distraction, trying to tell myself everything would be ok. I found that distraction in baking brownies and watching Disney with my colleagues (we’re never too old for cartoons).
I didn’t want to think about him passing but hearing the news from my sister hit me hard, more so that I couldn’t be there to say goodbye properly, to tell him myself that I loved him or to be there for my brother and sister, for us 3 to be together to support one another. As I was worrying about them having to go through that and seeing my dad in his last moments, they were worrying more about me. I didn’t have family or close friends around me for comfort and support.
But the support I did receive was more than I could ever have asked for. Even though I’d only been in the Kalahari for a month and only known my colleagues from all different parts of the world for that short period, I appreciated every hug, tissue and supporting word they gave me. It is amazing the empathy we can feel even for people we don’t know very well or not at all.
As I return to the UK for a few weeks or so to say goodbye to my dad, I just want to say that even if you find yourself away from your family at such a difficult time, you will find comfort in the people that are around you. I know people grieve in their own way especially when so far away from home you’re not sure what to do, but try not to seclude yourself from others completely, you never know when you might need a hug or just someone there sitting beside you.
Thank you everyone at the Kalahari Meerkat Project who hugged me, cooked me lunch, helped with logistics, gave me tissues, a candle, made me smile even for a second and even said my impromptu brownies were delicious. You’re all angels and I couldn’t have asked for better support when so far away from my loved ones. It made such a difficult overwhelming time that little bit easier and that is something I will never forget.
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